In the post Pioneer Barbeque, I reference sending drunk videos to my family... Let me elaborate: Do you believe in Signs? Yes, like in Fools Rush In with Matthew Perry and Salma Hayek. I loved that movie, I always wanted a love story like that one. Worlds apart and yet somehow the strangers meet, called an ‘Meet Cute’ - the scene in which two people that form a future romantic couple meet for the first time. They explain it in the film The Holiday with Kate Winslet and Cameron Diaz. I’m reminded again of my grandparents, their ‘Meet Cute’ is a story for the ages.
Her name means ‘Peace’, and his means ‘Renowned Land’, how fitting for the infamous couple. Words to describe the meaning of Renowned: celebrated, notorious, respected professional, and this one is my favorite - illustrious means known far and wide. Wow, the best description for my grandfather, to a T. I’m learning on this walk with Jesus that Signs are real, but not all are meant to be shared. The signs are to help you, assist you, guide you, untwist you, motivate you, hold you accountable. So let’s talk about some signs.
Deep Breaths, Forgiveness, and Don’t Give Up is my Hashem mantra. Discernment, I’m not a Buddhist, but there is some truth to their meditation, like it was a direct download or something. Again, I’m reminded of my Grandma’s sense of urgency for September. 'Easy lady, grandpa had that urgency for at least six years before his time.' My sister had to constantly remind me of that fact when I thought she was planning her departure, but until I figured it out, the videos that ensued were a different kind of humiliation.
The first one was to my ready prepared-ness married in-law artist. When I worked for them some years ago we had the zombie apocalypse plan set. The kids each picked a job that was their own: the health cautious was the farmer, the man-child of the house was the watch guard, the littles were the boogie trappers like in Home Alone, and I was to be eaten first for the meat. Wasn’t even upset with my zombie role at the time, “get me out of this simulation! Why are we planning this?!”. I miss those kids dearly for our weird simulation scenarios… with accents, of course.
The next one was for my cousin who lives too far away. We miss her stories she would recite to us as our babysitter growing up and to this day, she's a captivating story teller. The sign was affirmed when out walking for reprieve I encountered a corporate man heading back to work with the accent of her significant other. I greeted the ginger and knew exactly where he had hailed from and asked, “Do you miss it?” He expressed his love for his homeland and shared the beauty of the destination I have not yet had the pleasure of seeing, but one day I would love to see our ancestral homeland.
Another sign was a mistaken sign, yikes! I asked my mother to remind me what grandma’s maiden name was and by mistake, assuming I meant both grandma and great grandma on my father’s side, she responded with the wrong last name. My father and our family were robbed of our goodbye’s to his mother. Routine procedure turned deadly. My first experience with Death left scars for us all, but this was the key for the cousins to reunite!
That sign stood for False Evidence Appearing Real. Observe with Discernment: Do you know when a sign is direction and when a sign is a test? Do you know how to interpret the signs? Ouch, that one video to my brother was poor judgement. I’ve been blocked, kind of funny if you knew our relationship, this event however, is what triggered the curiosity as to why there’s so many “books”, or the Apocrypha, left out of the Bible. If I had to guess based on my own experience, because it was False Evidence Appearing Real.
For example, on August 5th I was practicing what I’d say to my family. I wanted to remind them of Psalm 91 that grandpa was demanding the babies to come home for the darling love of his life so she can enjoy them once again. However, my tongue would not let me say ninety-one. The Protection of the Most High is the prayer he would recite when flying over enemy territory as a WWII Fighter Pilot. I tried multiple times and I kept stuttering like, “twen .. twent… twenty. Okay what gives?” I instantly remembered his funeral card, a photo memento with Psalms “twenty-seven, 27!" My Stronghold was written on the back of the card and I officially believed that Grandpa was talking through me somehow that trajected me down the wrong path.
I was going to post a live feed about it to get all who knew the woman to come home. For some reason, I couldn’t connect. I know why now, thank you Jesus, but at the time it swerved the tension to be a little bit more dramatic. I had the gravitational pull to ruin a bachelorette party, five witnessed a slight mental breakdown as I was trying to explain the signs in a recording. I failed the test. Deep Breaths, Forgive Yourself, Don’t Give Up. The Uber driver’s shirt read, “Just Don’t Overthink It”. Okay, shots! That way I can write it off as a drunk video. My cousins rarely respond now, to be expected. I sent a collection of five? Maybe six? I don’t really know, I was drunk.
The outcome of this story is, despite my shortcomings in understanding and timing when and if to deliver some downloads, I persevered and the Pioneer Barbeque was a success! A joyous occasion indeed. Signs: the BBQ was the direction, the delivery was the test. You all would be happy to know that my grandmother is still alive and well, playing piano, and eating all the cutie’s in the county. For myself, I am continuing my walk by honing in on discernment!
Just Don’t Overthink It.
Note: this post was edited over time because the original entry included all the wrong signs in it that could lead to false fear. The Bible is designed to help you work out your kinks and hold you accountable for your words and actions. God is the parent, the teacher, … Mr. Miyagi if you will. Whether you believe in Jesus or not, I highly recommend the Bible as a phenomenal read to discover a better version of living to his fullest potential for you. Just don’t overthink it, baby steps, seek council, deep breaths, forgive yourself, and don’t give up.
Thank you Lord, “You’re so good to me!” - The Captain
Written 9/3/21 and Edited through: 9/24/21